I or We?

Greetings fellow Church followers. Though I am usually concerned with the evaluation of society (vis a vis the shining city on a hill) and the clarification of the narrow road, I must needs take time today to amend my Pyramid of Fear to account for advances in modern immorality/moral ambiguity. It has come to my attention that you are all CYBORGS.

 

Now, you might be wondering, "How did I get on the Fear Pyramid? I've done everything my elders/clergy/parents/government told me to do!" Well, like all of the devil's tricks, this one is as subtle and seductive as it is malicious.

This problem first came to my attention when I saw the fantasy TV show BSG (I was watching it strictly as research!). But I thought "This isn't real. We are safe for a few centuries yet..." But I was wrong. Next came Donna Haraway's Cyborg Manifesto, which was temporarily alarming, until I realized that the cyborg pictured there is not Haraway, and that Haraway is no more a cyborg than you or I! The Manifesto is also mostly postmodern gibberish (maybe I should add postmodernism to the pyramid...). Again, I thought I was safe; again, I was wrong. 

By now, you're probably frantically trying to remember when you got a cybernetic implant, or wondering what exactly the surgeon put in your knee that makes metal detectors scream wildly. Well, the doctor is in, and I have your diagnosis. It's not what happened while you were knocked out (or was it?). You consciously adopted your cybernetic components. You may be reading this through your cybernetic enhancement right now. What is one thing that you probably have within arm's reach 99% of your life? Your cell phone. And if you thought it was just a benign tool, you're wrong. In fact, cell phones may affect every part of what makes us human beings. I know some of you are thinking, "It's not the same. I'm not a T101 unit yet." I have several avenues of riposte. First of all, there have already been design forays into communication implants (almost a decade ago!) that would connect vibrations in the jaw electronically with the ear, allowing you to hear voices inside your head. Those of you who already hear voices may want to ask your dentist what else he did when you were under for that "root canal." A cell phone display implanted under the skin also looks like a tattoo. And contact lenses have been designed with invisible circuitry inside them, with obvious applications to visual enhancement and virtual reality.

I believe we are all being accustomed to living cybernetically enhanced lives by the corporate media, who will then sell us irresistibly convenient implants on greater and greater scales until we become "more machine either than man, twisted and evil." If you recognize that well-known quote from famed physicist Stephen Hawking, then you see how serious this is. Just how long before a cybernetic implant compels an American hero to try to kill the president, like in the Manchurian Candidate? (Or was that an episode of Venture Bros.?) It's only a short step from trendy to toaster.

But there is one last herald of this coming age of cybernetic tribulation. And it comes, of course, from Sweden. About a month ago, a surgeon in Sweden replaced a cancer patient's tumorous trachea with an artificial one made of synthetic polymers. There was no donor, and it was created in matter of days. Why would anyone want to live with a plastic throat when they could have saved that money and just prayed to God to either heal the patient, or welcome him to the Kingdom? It's the first successful transplant of a synthetic organ, and it's unnatural and wrong. Could this operation have been more devilish? Well, the organ will not be rejected by the body because, prior to installation, it was soaked in a solution of stem cells from the patient. Yeah. Enough said. We are all going to be assimilated, and mob mentality will make resistance futile. If you value your humanity, as I do, you will emulate me, throw away your cell phone, and henceforth cast a skeptical eye on all technology.

TLDR: We are all becoming cyborgs, and it will destroy the human race.