Good morning! And what a beautiful Sunday morning it is! Now, while you relax and read your Bible on this day of the Lord, let me just say a few words about something that is threatening your children's souls. It's nothing new, but it seems that the sinners of this world simply won't let it go.
Now, we have all heard (or said) that our children face so many more dangers than we did during the simpler days of yesteryear, when only criminals used drugs and the man driving around and attracting children with sweets was just doing his job selling dilly bars. But there is one element in particular that has been gaining increased attention in the media lately as the GOP candidates weigh in on it. Evolution. Now, I know what you're all thinking: what a joke, right? But do not underestimate it. Science like this attacks us, and our children, at the very point where we are weakest: our rational faculty. Our culture teaches us to trust experts who "know" more than we do, but the Devil knows that if he can corrupt just one respected scientist, many more will follow. Their honeyed words are seductive, and they can confuse the convictions of even the strongest among us. The only way to effectively resist them is to ignore their devilish words. Luckily, I am a man you know you can trust, so I will briefly outline all you need to know to reject evolution.
Texas Governor and Champion of Christ Rick Perry recently said that evolution is ”just a theory that's out there” with “gaps” and that in Texas they teach “both creationism and evolution.” He is completely right, and nobody could possibly argue with him. At least I thought so, until notorious Satanist Richard Dawkins wrote a reply for the Washington Post. The fact that he is so uncouth makes it easy to dismiss him; the fact that he also calls evolution a "fact" just makes him look silly. No respectable scientist calls any theory "fact" (because the only FACTS are in the BIBLE!). But there is another response that is even more insidious. David Wolpe's article actually tries to reconcile God and evolution, as if anyone desired to join hands with the Devil! I admit that even I was momentarily thoughtful after reading it (which just goes to show how dangerous such things are), but then I realized just who Mr. Wolpe really is: "the No.1 Pulpit Rabbi in America." Of course it would be a Jew who misleads and confuses Christians. This just goes to show that Jewish thought never benefits mankind, and that one should never listen to rabbis. All anyone needs to know about evolution is that it is preposterous because any child can see that humans quite obviously did not come from monkeys. And as for Rick Perry, he just needs to keep on praying, and I believe God will show the people that he is true and sincere and just the man America wants for its leader.
TLDR: We must protect our children from the dangers of science by electing Rick Perry president.
Now, we have all heard (or said) that our children face so many more dangers than we did during the simpler days of yesteryear, when only criminals used drugs and the man driving around and attracting children with sweets was just doing his job selling dilly bars. But there is one element in particular that has been gaining increased attention in the media lately as the GOP candidates weigh in on it. Evolution. Now, I know what you're all thinking: what a joke, right? But do not underestimate it. Science like this attacks us, and our children, at the very point where we are weakest: our rational faculty. Our culture teaches us to trust experts who "know" more than we do, but the Devil knows that if he can corrupt just one respected scientist, many more will follow. Their honeyed words are seductive, and they can confuse the convictions of even the strongest among us. The only way to effectively resist them is to ignore their devilish words. Luckily, I am a man you know you can trust, so I will briefly outline all you need to know to reject evolution.
Texas Governor and Champion of Christ Rick Perry recently said that evolution is ”just a theory that's out there” with “gaps” and that in Texas they teach “both creationism and evolution.” He is completely right, and nobody could possibly argue with him. At least I thought so, until notorious Satanist Richard Dawkins wrote a reply for the Washington Post. The fact that he is so uncouth makes it easy to dismiss him; the fact that he also calls evolution a "fact" just makes him look silly. No respectable scientist calls any theory "fact" (because the only FACTS are in the BIBLE!). But there is another response that is even more insidious. David Wolpe's article actually tries to reconcile God and evolution, as if anyone desired to join hands with the Devil! I admit that even I was momentarily thoughtful after reading it (which just goes to show how dangerous such things are), but then I realized just who Mr. Wolpe really is: "the No.1 Pulpit Rabbi in America." Of course it would be a Jew who misleads and confuses Christians. This just goes to show that Jewish thought never benefits mankind, and that one should never listen to rabbis. All anyone needs to know about evolution is that it is preposterous because any child can see that humans quite obviously did not come from monkeys. And as for Rick Perry, he just needs to keep on praying, and I believe God will show the people that he is true and sincere and just the man America wants for its leader.
TLDR: We must protect our children from the dangers of science by electing Rick Perry president.
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